What were you meant to do?

I’ve contemplated often just what it is I’m supposed to be when I grow up. I’ve considered being a part of an FBI anti-terrorism task force, a covert CIA agent stationed somewhere in Europe, MotoGP racer racing motorcycles across Europe, a computer security expert…the list goes on. What I never contemplated was a stay at home dad. So, now that I’m back to work I’ve been thinking I need to go back to school if I’m ever going to get that computer security expert job, right? Well, maybe not.

My wife is on a business related out-of-town trip. So, I’ve had to ask work if I can come in late and leave early in order to make sure the kids are dressed and dropped off and then picked up at the end of the day. Today is day one. Today is starting out to be one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.

I tried to sleep in just a little, to no avail. Thomas came in at about 6AM asking if he could have his Fruit by the Foot (yesterday was Valentine’s Day and the kids have more candy than on Halloween). I mumbled, sure. Of course that meant that Anna got something out of her candy bag, so she was in next. There were several other interruptions to my sleep, for what I can’t even remember. Then, it was up and fixing breakfast, then I remembered they need clothes for school, a reminder to brush their teeth, had to make sure their backpacks were ready for the day too of course. I had to clean the cobwebs and knock a little of the dust off of my brain to remember how things went, but ultimately everything went smoother than I could imagine. I drove Thomas to school and Anna to day care. Anna didn’t forget to give me a kiss before getting out of the truck and she waved to me as she stood at the door waiting. Remembrances of my daily routine just a few months ago flooded my mind as I drove away.

Now I sit at work, getting excited about making a menu for the rest of the week, a shopping list for this afternoon and of course trying to update my blog. So, now I’m thinking maybe I should hang up my super-secret spy badge and decoder ring. Maybe I should shut down my high-end secure server/network. Maybe I should cancel my plans to race the European motorcycle circuits. Maybe Thomas was trying to tell me something when he took so long to get out of the truck this morning, while I was looking out the back window at a line of cars backed up behind us to the end of the school parking lot. Maybe Anna was trying to remind me of something I’d forgotten over the last few months when she didn’t forget to give me a kiss goodbye. Maybe, even though I have a day job, I’m still a stay at home dad. I think with a little help this morning I got it figured out. I know what I was meant to do when I grow up. Now I just need to figure out a way to get back home.

Hey, Honey, I know you’re on a business trip, writing novel(s), blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting, Skyping, chatting, texting (all work related)…but I’m ready to start having hot dinners waiting for you when you get home whenever you are!

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2 Responses to “What were you meant to do?”

  1. Susan Says:

    It is my dream to have you back home. I’ve never been happier. Who doesn’t love a kept man?

  2. happiestmommies Says:

    I love reading your SAHD perspective (even though you don’t truly have that title any more). I constantly have an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other reminding me in opposing ears of my love-hate relationship with being a SAHM. Even the other day while talking to your wife, I struggled to point out what I am doing that still makes me “important” or “valid.” Your post reminds me that I am in a very special season of life, viewing it/participating in it from a unique perspective. I am certain that I would feel similar to you if I went “back to work.” Sounds like you got the best of both worlds recently though. Lucky you!

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