Archive for October, 2010


October 13, 2010

I know it’s been months since I’ve updated this blog. It’s not because there hasn’t been anything to write.

I’ve been looking for a job, pretty seriously since my last update. The day is finally on the horizon now. I’ve been offered a position with a large(r) company. It’s not the best job I’ve ever had, and it pays less than I was making ten years ago, but it pays the bills…or close to it.

It’s a blessing, if there is such a thing. It’s also a real disappointing development in my life. Anna has started kindergarten and she’s in school several hours a day. During those hours I either have a chance to clean the bathrooms, fold laundry, or surf the giant interweb. Before and after those hours though, I get to play “Sorry”, listen to some story made up “off the cuff” about penguins, or get served a plastic donut with my coffee in the morning. We walk Thomas to school in the mornings. On colder mornings, and yes it’s been in the thirties this week, Anna and I come home and she gets very excited about hot chocolate with whipped cream. She never finishes it, but she asks for it everyday.

At just before noon I drive Anna to school. I park in front of her classroom, on top of a very small grassy hill. Every day she forgets her backpack, sitting next to her in the truck. The thing she never forgets though, each and every day, is a kiss. I’ll remind her about her backpack and she’ll look completely taken off guard and say something like, “OH YEAH!!!! I FORGOT MY BACKPACK” and then she’ll smile and say, “But I didn’t forget a kiss.” She always gets out of the car on her way to the door and turns to wave to me. It’s just part of our day.

Thomas too, is an amazing little man. He’s growing up. He doesn’t need me to walk him all the way to school. He would be just fine if I dropped him off a block away. But, every morning when we walk to school, just before he heads for the door to the school he turns and hugs me and gives me a kiss. He doesn’t get embarrassed, he doesn’t hesitate. He just expects it, as do I.

So, where am I going with this? Why all the rambling and the update after several months of nothing? I start work on the 19th, in just a few short days. I’m having a hard time letting go. I’m having a hard time thinking I won’t walk Thomas to school. I’m having a hard time realizing that Anna won’t remember to give me a kiss goodbye before getting out of the truck and I’m having an even harder time realizing that Anna won’t turn to me and wave just before going through the door.